2 Weeks Old!

Today Jacob is 14 days old. It has been a whirl wind ever since he was born. There has been such a learning curve with Jacob. At first it was daunting the amount of things you have to do for one little baby.   It's not just meeting Jacob's physical needs, it's also adapting to the new mindset that you have as a mom. I now don't sleep as much as I use to, I struggle with emotions and hormones. Especially when he first came home, it was such a struggle for me being up all night long. On top of that, feeling inadequate at being a mother and often wondering to myself if I should have had a child. No one really tells you how crappy you feel the first week. At least for me I'm trying to learn not to give myself a hard time about the little things. For example, there have been days when Jacob would just be fussy all day. When I held him he would still continue to fuss (sometimes even more since he knows that I am the milk machine). It was so overwhelming to me because I feel that I'm his mother and he should calm down when he's around me. But apparently that's just how babies are and I just need to accept that. It's still a daily struggle for me not to get overwhelmed and put myself down when it comes to taking care of Jacob.

Breastfeeding has not been as much of a challenge as I thought it would be. At our first meeting in the hospital, I made the first attempt at breastfeeding Jacob. I was fully expecting for Jacob and I to struggle with breastfeeding for at least a couple of days. But Jacob immediately latched on and it seems like he hasn't left my breasts since. Some days have been more painful than others and it amazing to me how much Jacob has to eat, but I'm really glad that I have made the choice to breastfeed.

My two boys :)

Chris has been absolutely amazing ever since Jacob was born. It's so amazing to see Chris transform into this incredible father. During the night, Jacob will only fall asleep if he's on Chris's chest. Chris is always more than happy to take Jacob whenever I need a break and it's so adorable to see those two interact together. They are already little buddies. Having Jacob has given me a greater appreciation for my wonderful husband. He has truly gone above and beyond as far as taking care of Jacob and I. I wish I had the words to describe how fantastic he is. Everyday I am grateful for everything that he does for me and I could not as for a better husband or father to my little boy.

Mama Sugar with Jacob the day he was born

I want to thank my mom for everything that she has done for my family after Jacob was born. She came here right after Jacob was born and taught me everything I needed to know in order to be a good mom. My mom even extended her trip here when she saw that I was struggling with everything. She did a wonderful job of taking care of us and lifting us up when we needed it. I miss having her here but I'm grateful that she helped me get to this point so that I can be the best mom to Jacob.

Jacob's Birth Story

On Saturday, March 30, 2013, Jacob Christopher was born. He came into the world 21 inches long, weighing 10 pounds and 5 ounces. Yes, he is a big boy. My baby and his delivery was quite the talk at the hospital. No one could believe that I carried a 10 pound baby and no one even knew about it. Here's what happened leading up to his birth.

Jacob a few hours after he was born

On Thursday, March 28, Chris and I went to the hospital to start my induction. I was a week late at this point and showing no signs of going into labor. So they performed a procedure on me to help my cervix to soften, that way when they started Pitocin on me the next day and it would make it easier for me to dilate. At 4:30 that following night, my water broke and I was officially in labor.

Friday, March 29, I started labor. I was given an epidural, which was not bad. I don't know why women tell these horror stories about getting the epidural, but I thought that it was a piece of cake. Then I was given Pitocin to speed up and strengthen my contractions. Six hours later, I was only dilated 2.5 cm. It was a slow labor. In order to speed it up, my doctor inserted a balloon device to widen my cervix. This would stretch it to 4-5cm. Two hours later I was at 5cm!

Around 4pm, things started going downhill for me. Everything with the baby was fine and my contractions were finally creating progress but my epidural started running low. Unfortunately the anesthesiologist was doing a C-section and could not give me more medicine. When the epidural ran out, I was pretty much going through labor naturally. I do not understand women who do birth naturally because I was in so much pain. I got up to a 9 on my pain scale with several contractions. The anesthesiologist finally came after 45 minutes and gave me a refill along with an extra dose of some pain medication. Getting the epidural back was great but the effect was not the same after that. I started feeling the contractions more and they were becoming more intense.

At 11pm I was finally ready to push. After an hour of pushing, I was making progress but I was getting tired. I hadn't eaten or drank anything for 18 hours now and it was starting to take its effect. The doctor recommended using forceps or a vacuum to help get the baby out. The downfall of using either option was that it could cause some head trauma and bruising, but it would speed up the process. The vacuum technique was chosen and I was started pushing. Things were progressing along and the baby's head was only a couple of inches away from coming out. After a total of three hours of pushing, it became obvious that this baby was not coming out. It was on to a C-section.

The C-section was awful. Remember how the epidural wasn't as strong when they refilled it? Well that epidural did not block out enough of the pain. What the doctor had to do was push the baby through the birth canal back into my uterus, then pull out the baby. It felt like my baby was being ripped from my body. In addition, they were pushing down on my stomach and chest to help get to baby out since he was so big. It was so bad that I could not even breathe. Needless to say I was hysterical and in the worst pain of my life. After the baby was out I was knocked out and woke up a hour and half later.

Chris says that when the baby came out he was limp and blue. It was really scary cause he wasn't sure if the baby was alive. He had a Apgar score of 1 (the Apgar scale is out of 10 and 0 is given to stillborn babies) but luckily two minutes later he had a score of 7. He was still sent to the NICU to make sure that everything was okay and everything looked great. He was transferred to the nursery after 2 hours.

After a traumatizing night, I finally looked at my sweet baby boy. He was all banged up and had bruises all over his face. But it was so great to see him healthy and strong. I thank Heavenly Father everyday for Jacob and the joy he brings into my life.